October 28, 2024

 It feels like I haven't written here for a while. It seems so long. Getting almost 100 hours on this check. Havant seen mark since I cut him off from showers and electricity. I'm not surprised. Thinking of Ella. Seem to be working up to 10,000 words easily. Flowers for Madison is the next book. not sure when it will come to frustration. Hopefully mu next milestone will be 15,000. Talked to Jeri. My obsessing has finally come to an end. My job is still secure. Hant been eating lately. Cut back my drinking to 1 glass. I'm starting to get tired of drinking or no longer have the need. My penis continues to hurt. I believe it is some kind of infection. Plan on going to hospital after work tomorrow. it seems to hurt when I pee, and my bladder fills up. I guess this is the time of my life when I get my pains. I am starting to feel distracted. IO am starting my stores with setting instead of Characters and feel this is making my stories longer. I am still using helper words only different ones. Changing my code of dress. Not going to bay any more jeans. pleated slacks. No more t shirts. I have enough. Now is time to buy longer shirts.  Continuing to pay off credit cards. Goal is to balances by end of the year. Starting to writ in the mornings and going back to Netflix. Can't seem to stop from sleeping to 7pm. On my workdays. Need to get out go pirn no matter how Good a shaved pussy looks. and nice big totties. I know it isn't real though how a wish it was. I know it is not woman who are the problem bit me. Except I wish it was different. I must accept that it is not. My next trip is Seattle and then Hawaii. Have to start saving for Seattle I expect even though plane fare and train is paid for. I am budgeting a $1000. My next book from London will cost me Mi assuming $400-$500 that will hurt my finances. One more day and then two days off. It's different starting my week on a friday and with the meeting it doesn't see like having two full days off which is actually good. I didn't feel this pain ion Las vegans. i was depressed but no pain. I covered up my depression with alcohol and now I believe it is porn. I am working on removing both but like most habits or addictions

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