October 21, 2024

 Today I went shopping. Spent $237 and didn't feel like I bought anything. Besides alcohol. California. good thing I don't eat or buy a lot of fresh meat, steak, chicken, fish or hot fogs. I was very angry yesterday and can see my money and cash slowly eroding away. Good thing I canceled the Oceanside trip or otherwise I'd be really hurting. My credit score went up to 609,15 Credit inquires. Finished writing chapter two on new story and summarized chapter one and the beginning of new story. Though have no idea how to start chapter three. very good beginning. Of course, I didn't start with a picture. Well, I did. Then added a setting. then went back to the picture. Still very angry against woman and my sister. Woman for not liking me as much as them and God giving them so much and men so little. Also, at my sister for not letting me grow up naturally like she was allowed to. Have to work on not being the disgruntled employee. Got a hug from Kristina today. Her breasts look so much buyer and fuller with a bra on then naked. Gave Asley my old blue jacket. Trying not to care and stay in my lane. The men's donation closet is an utter mess. Supposed to get a rapid credit card for ordering. Strating to wear a belt to work. Regardless and trying to0 tuck in pants. My credit cards are getting full again. Going to try to pay half balances. Until I get my cash under more control. I tell myself every day I'm going to stared walking to work and dent do it. I have to try harder. Writing more in my journal today than usual. I think perhaps this is a better time than tight after I get home as I am not as distracted.

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