October 13, 2024

 Starting this juvenal with contusing anger of females. Jealousy of what god gave them and they don't eve appreciate. How we are supposed to suck up to them and kiss their ass with ought even douching their ass. Mark sound's disgusting when he is around Kristina the same way Jason was. Yes, they get the girls but at what cost. If I could turn off my desire for woman I would in a moment. I am thinking of considering a prostitute. Maybe in Las Vegas.  or here. just to touch one and fee their body. their ass. their breasts. their vagina. eat perhaps. Sex besides that is just not worth the cost or the work. Especially with men being expected to perform and give them orgasms when they only provide a body. I can picture me just asking a prostitute to touch, kiss, suck on her breasts feel them, finger her, eat her and enjoy her body with no penetration from my penis. to me everything else is better than penetration. I am so sad and so angry Ia could scream. It hurts so much. The slights keep on coming. The false promises. The false beliefs. The false dreams. But I must continue. For God no one but God. No matter the pain or the anguish I feel. Thew lousy, the loathing, the unfairness of it all. Why was I so [unfished do go without for so much with so much drive for more. If I didn't have mt drive how much better, I will be. It is so sad and the little money I have though more than I have ever had is so worthless.

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