Journal September 27, 2024

 Today I am making some changes and had a good morning compared to most. Starting a routine, not that it is the best, but it is a routine. Realizing I real don't need to buy any more food and am dreading when USAA comes due. not sure if i will pay the whole thing off or part of it. I need to cut down my credit card debit. I have also put Portland Oregon on the list for march train ride included. Will do further planning after Las Vegas. My mind is jumping from one thing to the other as event s of the day happened. Was very upset yesterday seeing Alias hugged Miriana without a bra and just a t shirt and shorts then today Crazy Doug had Juanita's interest and they talked for at least for an hour. Crazy and old people can seem get the attention of pussy while I for some reason cannot. It is totally unequal. Las Vegas in October. Ocean side in November, Sandiego for new eve and Portland fort march. Which includes a train ride and a flight back. Thinking of Nuying mu own paper plates when Alias gets them for free and i am denied. Jeri never did answer my email. Worried about Kristina. She says she loved me. Thinks she loves her Mexican more. Shes a virgin anyways. Saw her with her top off. not impressed anyway. Things are better than last week or when I had all that anger or was stuttering though I still do at times. Progressing in a bad story. Trying to do what my therapist said and get it out. I am starting to enjoy my time off more than before. Becoming more accustomed to having no goals or dreams. Besides my writing and visiting different places I haven't been before. Perhaps watching Netflix at work helped my boredom. Might do that more. Got my surge card back. Mark interrupted my train of thought. still very upset no girl likes me. Pila went off again it seems. I am at a dead-end job again who I give ideas and take them at least. Still in a job going nowhere. Everyone has a problem with Abigail. She is definitely a man hating black lesbian. She isn't in my department anymore, so it doesn't matter. poops are getting harder after yesterday. a good thing. and less. A turning point will be Las Vegas and getting on the plane again. Cant buy no more canned goods from Amazon. I have more than enough. i am also citing out pizza after these 3 pizzas are eaten. 

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